579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

I used to rent a house in Princeton, New Jersey, and whenever people came to visit me, I would drive them past Albert Einstein's house, which is the most ordinary house in Princeton - a house, let me assure you, that now a salesman wouldn't live in. I'd always say, "That was Albert Einstein's house." And they'd say, "What do you mean? Why would Albert Einstein live in a little house like that?" And I'd always say to people, "Because he didn't care!"

I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.

Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.

Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian.

Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.

I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.

In conversation you can use timing, a look, an inflection. But on the page all you have is commas, dashes, the amount of syllables in a word. When I write, I read everything out loud to get the right rhythm.

Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.

Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people.