579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.

I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.

When I was young, I liked romance. But to me, romance is the opposite of domestic life. I just don't want anyone in the apartment, not for longer than a few hours.

Contrary to what many of you may imagine, a career in letters is not without its drawbacks - chief among them the unpleasant fact that one is frequently called upon to sit down and write.

Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?

In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.

...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.

How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.