579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

The girl in your class who suggests that this year the Drama Club put on The Bald Soprano will be a thorn in people's sides all of her life.

The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one’s soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive – you are leaking.

I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.

Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

I would not call it a writer's block. A writer's block to me is a temporary thing. A month, you know, six weeks. This was more a writer's blockade. To me, this was very much like the Vietnam War. It was the same timetable, it was on the same schedule as the Vietnam War. I don't know how I got into it and I couldn't get out of it.

There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.