184 Quotes by Gabriel Iglesias

You can’t be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos.

Believe it or not, I’ve got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I’m done. I’m not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.

I just like The Little Mermaid cartoon. Say what you want. I have a fish tank, it’s a long story. I have a fascination with the ocean, and you put a hot chick in there, it just adds more to it! I liked The Little Mermaid. It’s a cool movie. It’s one of those I watch over and over again.

I’m all about showing people that I’m a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won’t grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, ‘Life is great.’

I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I’ll go for it.

You gotta live life before you can talk about it. Sometimes when things don’t work out in life, they work out on stage.

I go on the road all the time, but I’m only performing for two hours a night, and then I’ll do a meet-and-greet, and then I’ll get a bite to eat, get drunk, pass out, wake up the next day, sleeping the next day, sleeping off the hangover, and then I’m in the next city.

I’m a comedian who happens to be Latino. What’s the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo.

Every night, it’s a bakery on the bus. It’s a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I’m diabetic, so I’m like, are you kidding me?!