184 Quotes by Gabriel Iglesias

I know enough football to know that’s funny!

I’ll walk up to a woman, I’ll say the first thing that comes to mind: ‘Hey, you hungry?’

I want to get so famous that I don’t have to wake up in the morning. It’ll probably never happen.

Stand-up is not just an American thing anymore. It’s global. In some places, stand-up comedy is brand new. South Africa has only had a scene for 15 years.

I get a lot of influence from pro wrestling. People are like, ‘Oh, it’s fake.’ But it’s not about whether the guy wins or loses, it’s about how he entertains you the whole time you’re watching.

For about three years I was performing at one bar in East Los Angeles that was like a mean dive bar. You’re in there performing for drunks or bikers, not the most flattering people. I think it helped build my confidence, because you have to get their attention, then make them laugh.

Understand that you don’t know it all. You don’t know anything yet. What you’ve been taught is great, but always go with common sense. And don’t marry your first love.

The only way I will do a sitcom is if it’s hurled at me, and I don’t have to work for it.

As a comedian, especially one that works as much as I do, there is a lot of sacrifice. People don’t see that I’m away from my family 46 weeks out of the year. I miss all the birthdays and anniversaries and holidays.