124 Quotes by Garry Shandling

I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.

The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip, where animals would comment on human behaviour, interested me.

I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's what kind of hair you have inside that counts.

Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.

Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.

In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.

My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! No!"

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

I don''t like this reality television, I have to be honest;I think real people should not be on television; It''s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real