18 Quotes by Gary Owens

Then, when I got in the military, I used to host - even in high school - I hosted the talent shows, and when I was in the military I would host all of our base Christmas parties and stuff.

Like I always tell people, I don't pander to any audience, but you have to play to your audience.

I'm not a mean comic, I don't want to turn anybody off - I just want to give a point of view or my take on things that everyone can laugh at.

My comedy isn't going to solve problems; I'm not that deep.

The potential of getting hit from behind is always there. And at night, it becomes so much more difficult to judge the situation.

We want to throw high percentage stuff this year, but it's like I told Gary the other day, if we call a pass and it's not there, pull the ball down and run with it and we'll come back and call another play. We just don't want him trying to force things and make mistakes.

The people of Cascade County have been so generous in sending help to the areas affected by the hurricanes, and we are confident that those same people will help us achieve our goal, which will allow us to continue meeting needs right here in our own community,

Since we lost our quarterback from last year, I thought I should step up because I have some experience, ... I like the position, so I thought I would give it a shot this year.

If anyone has the attention span of a crazed amoeba, they should enjoy all of these episodes!