102 Quotes by Gavin Esler

The hand that wields the knife shall never wear the crown.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. Where there is sadness, joy.

The thing I love most about going to the Rocky Mountain National Park is that mobile phones don't work, and there's no electricity and no TV.

Brexit is turning out to be a really really bad meal. We ordered steak and chips and we've now got some raw chicken that smells bad.

My alphabet book at Duddingston Primary, Edinburgh, began traditionally with 'a is for apple,' but when it came to 'g,' it was 'g is for gas globe.' This was in the late Fifties; there hadn't been gas globes for decades. The textbook must have been 30 or 40 years old!

In Britain, politicians who openly discuss their spirituality are about as welcome as Jehovah' s Witnesses on the doorstep, and the British associate the mixture of politics and religion as a heady cocktail best reserved for the mass irrationality of Northern Ireland, Iran, Kashmir, and the Middle East.

What mattered in the cold war was weight - how big are your missiles? How heavy are your tanks? What matters in globalisation is speed. How fast is your modem? How good are you communications?

At seven years old, I won a scholarship to George Heriot's School, an independent school in Edinburgh, and I was there until I was 17.

My idea of heaven is being in Arizona, stuck up a mountain - somewhere where there are no phones.