255 Quotes by George Burns

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

There isn't a thing I can't do now that I didn't do when I was twenty-one...which gives you an idea of how pathetic I was when I was twenty-one. (That's a lie, but I might as well tell you something right here at the beginning of the book. Anytime I can get a laugh I'm not going to let the truth interfere with it.)

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.

Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made.

The Pope's entrance was stunning. Maybe the Catholics know about miracles, and maybe they know about saints, but they've never received enough credit for what they know about show business.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

My best advice: Fall in love with what you do for a living.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.