255 Quotes by George Burns
- Author George Burns
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There are two kinds of cruises – pleasure and with children.
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- Author George Burns
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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- Author George Burns
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I can’t understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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- Author George Burns
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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- Author George Burns
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No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
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- Author George Burns
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I’d sleep with it.
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- Author George Burns
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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- Author George Burns
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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- Author George Burns
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I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name’s not there, I eat breakfast.
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