255 Quotes by George Burns

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there.

And God said ‘Let there be Satan, so people don’t blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don’t blame everything on Satan.’

Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young. When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

As long as you’re working, you stay young.

The Pope’s entrance was stunning. Maybe the Catholics know about miracles, and maybe they know about saints, but they’ve never received enough credit for what they know about show business.

I like women to be attracted to me. See, when you get 60 years old, and they know you’re 60, the only women you can get are 55-year-old women, and I like younger women.

If I had taken my doctor’s advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn’t have lived to go to his funeral.