255 Quotes by George Burns

When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don’t know what’s out there, but I want to make sure it’s in my key.

In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn’t addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.

It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

How can I die? I’m booked.

When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it’s time to turn out the lights.

I smoke cigars because at my age if I don’t have something to hang on to I might fall down.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Yale men do not like to be told anything by people who didn’t go to Yale. The closest I came to Yale was once I had one of their padlocks.

In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I’ve been retired all my life.