255 Quotes by George Burns

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you’d cheat with some ugly girl.

Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.

There’s nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.

I don’t care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren’t what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.

I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.

It’s better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don’t find success right away.

I should have been a country-western singer. After all, I’m older than most western countries.