1,246 Quotes by George Carlin



  • Author George Carlin
  • Quote

    Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck

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  • Author George Carlin
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    No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.

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  • Author George Carlin
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    I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

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  • Author George Carlin
  • Quote

    You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.

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