1,246 Quotes by George Carlin
- Author George Carlin
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It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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- Author George Carlin
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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- Author George Carlin
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck
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- Author George Carlin
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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- Author George Carlin
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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- Author George Carlin
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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- Author George Carlin
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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- Author George Carlin
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It's never just a game when you're winning.
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- Author George Carlin
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You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.
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