1,246 Quotes by George Carlin

I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.

There are a lot of little things about our bodies that we all know, but we never talk about. That's what interests me. These are practically universal experiences; nobody mentions them! Some of them are disgusting. Some of them are appallingly revolting and degrading even to the most degenerate mind. So let's get started with a couple of them.

You have to be realistic about terrorism. Certain groups of people, certain groups, Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, and just plain guys from Montanta, are going to continue to make life in this country very interesting for a long, long time.

We are all precancerous.

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.

Barry Goldwater has definitely decided to be a candidate in '64. He will campaign in all thirteen states.

Everything that you know about yourself comes from thinking back, and I think I saw religion as the first big betrayal of me.

The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.

If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance