149 Quotes by George Lopez

Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too.

It's good to see people not smoking. You get dressed up, and you smoke, and it gets in your clothes. You go, 'What should I wear tonight?' 'I don't know, honey, how about something menthol?'

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!

From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!

If you want a show to succeed, you're going to have to have a certain amount of people watch who are non-black and non-Latino. If you can't cross over, you don't belong on TV. That's not just me saying it. That's just the way it is.

Life is great and golf has been one of the great parts of it for me.

Everything we play when we are growing up, is team related. In this game (of golf) you can find all the answers yourself. You don't need to throw the ball in the air and play catch with yourself. You get a bucket of balls and go out there with your clubs, and you hit and learn and you get better. And there's no top.