94 Quotes by George Mikes

5. Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still really young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.6. Television puts a stop to crime because all the burglars and robbers, instead of going to burgle and rob, sit at home watching The Lone Ranger, Emergency Ward Ten and Dotto.

Q. Why don't the British panic?A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy.

Many Continentals tink life is a game; the English think cricet is a game.

Remember: If you go for a walk with a friend in England, don't say a single word for hours; if you go for a walk with your dog, talk to it all the time.

He may become British; he can never become English.

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.

A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.