24 Quotes by Gideon Defoe

Here's your first problem," he said, pointing at a sentence. "'Religion is the opium of the people.' Well, I don't know about people, but I think you'll find that the opium of pirates is actual opium.

They both fell silent. For a while the only sound they could hear was the noise of books resting on shelves, which wasn’t really enough of a sound to distract them from the awkwardness of the moment.

It was about as close as you could get to the platonic ideal of a ham, if Plato had spent more time discussing hams and less time mucking about with triangles.

If the pirate with a scarf had been more poetically minded he’d have thought that her eyes were like a thousand emeralds, glittering in a far-off pirate treasure chest. But he wasn’t, so he just thought that she had really really green eyes, a bit like seaweed.

You don't know what it is to live and laugh and love and run a man through! You've never tasted salty air on your tongue or waved heartily at a mermaid!

I would like to tell you that I wrote my book to push back artistic boundaries. But I didn't. I wrote it to impress a girl.

I really didn't write it with any intention of being published. If I'd known that was going to happen, I would have written something more sensible, because now I have to dress up as a pirate for book signings... I would have done a novel about a man who hangs around with a gaggle of models.

Babbage's Three Laws of Difference EnginesFirst Law: A difference engine must have at least six cogs.Second Law: A difference engine must be able to operate a loom.Third law: A difference engine must be able to kill a man, should the mood so take it.

You can't reduce passion and flair and eating ham to numbers, sir!