66 Quotes by Greg Fitzsimmons

I'm sure people are shocked when they see a guy speeding and cutting them off and having road rage while in a Prius.

What is most difficult is when the large part of me that is a narcissist grows weary and is overtaken by the self-loathing part that always lurks in the shadows waiting for an opportunity to shine.

My dad was in radio; he was a broadcaster, and it was in the family. He hosted kind of a game show at one point on TV; he was the original host of 'Good Day New York,' and he hosted the Jerry Lewis telethon for 15 years.

The compulsion to do the opposite of what you are told does not lend itself to many occupations outside the entertainment industry. Within the industry, it is unlikely that you will be very successful without it.

There's so many ways to do stand up, and I think, for awhile, people weren't really maximizing the freedom of it. We were all kind of doing a similar kind of stand up, and I started to see some original voices come out of Boston.

Driving around with a receding hairline and two kids in a Prius feels a bit boring for me.

Since first hearing the story as a child, any mention of the 'Boston Tea Party' has elicited in me an excitement that is uniquely American. When I heard rumblings that there was a new Tea Party, I got goose bumps. I love tea, I love parties, I hate taxes; I'm in! It seemed that most of America joined in my excitement!

I don't gamble anymore since I had a kid. I have fun in Vegas. I see shows, Cirque du Soleil. Don Rickles was in town last time I was there. I'll have lunch with George Wallace. I just look in the Weekly calendar and see who's performing, and inevitably, we all meet up late night at one of the casinos. Jesus, I sound boring.

I don't like to change things too much. I think pretty hard about things before I jump in, and once I do, I feel, 'All right, I don't want to waste the energy of buying, selling this, going on Consumer Reports, test driving, buying, selling a house.' I feel life is to be lived.