1,045 Quotes by H. L. Mencken

Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.

If I ever mary, it will be on a suddn impulse - as aman shoots himself

Never drink if you've got any work to do. Never.

Man makes love by braggadocio, and woman makes love by listening.

Never underestimate the booberie of the booboisie.

God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Whenever a reporter is assigned to cover a Methodist conference, he comes home an atheist.

Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull

I do not believe in democracy, but I am perfectly willing to admit that it provides the only really amusing form of government ever endured by mankind.