97 Quotes by Hector Hugh Munro

To be clever in the afternoon argues that one is dining nowhere in the evening.

Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.

But, good gracious, you've got to educate him first. You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up.

I hate babies. They're so human.

And the vagueness of his alarm added to its terrors; when once you have taken the Impossible into your calculations its possibilities become practically limitless.

I think oysters are more beautiful than any religion,' he resumed presently. 'They not only forgive our unkindness to them; they justify it, they incite us to go on being perfectly horrid to them. Once they arrive at the supper-table they seem to enter thoroughly into the spirit of the thing. There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

The people of Crete unfortunately make more history than they can consume locally.

The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.