27 Quotes by Helen Ellis

A pink razor is like a mouse, where ever it is the pussy will follow.

I scroll through iPhone photos and see that if I delete pictures of myself with a double chin, I will erase all proof of my glorious life.

I looked so preppy you'd guess my tramp stamp was a monogram

Etiquette for phone solicitors: "Helen Michelle, the way you stop someone from calling again is by saying, 'Thank you so much for calling, but I've just murdered my husband and need to finish digging a hole in the backyard. Good-bye.

Mama says, " Helen Michelle, a lot of women have trouble saying no and then find themselves in worse situations because they were afraid of being rude. So, if you have trouble saying no, say 'No, thank you.' Let's practice.

Because it turns out, "If it happens, it happens" is Southern Lady Code for we don't want kids.

Because it turns out, “If it happens, it happens” is Southern Lady Code for we don’t want kids.

Mama says, ” Helen Michelle, a lot of women have trouble saying no and then find themselves in worse situations because they were afraid of being rude. So, if you have trouble saying no, say ‘No, thank you.’ Let’s practice.

One of Mama’s parenting mantras was: “Oh, Helen Michelle, I have yet to begin to embarrass you.