7 Quotes by Ian Pattison

No, forget love, the best we can hope to mould, given the poor Play-Doh of humankind, is a capacity for tolerance. This is achievable since tolerance is little more than indifference with a Dulux coat of manners. Surely we can manage that? Call me a dreamer but I can see a world where people of all races, creeds and colour will live together in harmony because they don't give a toss about each other.

No one of these bloody jobs exist do they? Christ, y'just stick them up there to take the bare look off the walls.

Cancer gets a bad press but, fair do's, it's a truly egalitarian illness, unlike those stuck-up bastards ME and motor neurone.

Some burglars are vermin, they're no better than, well, investment bankers - there, I've said it.

Christmas carols? Oozy, squeezy, treacly middle-class propaganda crap!

Some burglars are vermin, they’re no better than, well, investment bankers – there, I’ve said it.

This is what you get in life. Wee flannel-arsed naebodies sittin’ behind a desk tryin’ to make you sweat in your stool. And see when they do? Y’can feel the wind-up key take another turn in your back.