11 Quotes by Ian Shoales

It's a ridiculous profession and it's getting worse. It's becoming almost like palm reading or phrenology. It's been relegated to pop best sellers and talk shows. The only people that take it seriously are upper middle class people who are lonely and can afford to pay someone to listen to them.

Everybody’s excited about the new service economy, even though there is no actual service as near as I can tell.

I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn...

They don’t produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that they created – and they keep changing it just in case you start to catch on.

Favorite color: I hate colors.

Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word.

Never ask a woman why she’s angry at you. She will either get angrier at you for not knowing, or she’ll tell you. Both ways, you lose.

I don’t like people who speak French in public places. This includes the French.