1,024 Quotes by Ilona Andrews

Aha! So I’m not crazy.”“You are most definitely crazy,” Derek said. “But in a deranged, endearing way.

I've been assigned to bodyguard you."You've got to be kidding me.Derek snorted.Ascanio pretended not to hear it. "The Beast Lord spoke to me this morning. I'm responsible for your well-being, and if you get injured, I'll answer to him personally."Oh, that bastard. Found the kid an impossible job, did he?Derek laughed quietly.Ascanio finally deemed it necessary to acknowledge Derek's existence. "Is something funny?""I don't even know you, and I feel sorry for you.

He joked while Dali cut him, mangling the words with his monstrous jaws, snarled with a pretended rage and dramatically promised to "kirrrl youraaalll for this!

She’s your Herald,” Derek said. “That’s your color. Blue for humanity.” My what? He made a big show of moving a few feet to the side. I looked at him. “In case your head explodes,” he said helpfully.

Desandra shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, Kate? Have you thought of walking up to Hugh and telling him that he's got the biggest dick ever?" She spread her arms to the size of a baseball bat."No, you think it would work?" I asked."It's worth a try. May be he'll be so happy you noticed his pork sword, he'll forget all about trying to kill us."Pork sword. Kill me now. "I'll think about it."Ascanio began patting his clothes."What?" Derek growled."Looking for something to take notes with.

Are you waiting for a clue to fall on your head?" Derek asked."Yep. Tell me if you see one coming.""Nope.""My super mental powers must be getting rusty.

When I got a bad grade in my old boarding school, Kate would make a trip to the school to chew me out. When I got homesick, I'd flunk a grade on purpose. Sometimes she came by herself. Sometimes with other people. Boy kind of people. Of whom I promised myself I wouldn't be thinking about, because they were idiots.

A shadow crossed Andrea's face. "I don't want to be his TWT-IHFB." "What does that mean?" "That Weird Thing I Haven't Fucked Before." I choked.

Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea frowned."Would you like me to pull over and ask that bamboo for directions?""I don't know, do you think it will answer?"We peered at the bamboo."I think it looks suspicious," Andrea said."Maybe there is a heffalump hiding in it."Andrea stared at me."You know, heffalump? From Pooh Bear?""Where do you even get this shit?