64 Quotes by Jack Benny

I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.

I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

Bill Paley is not only the greatest boss I ever had, but he's the most brilliant, honest and warm human being I've ever met. And I'll say that to his face - even if it costs me my job.

I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.

The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.

I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe.

Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere

As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.

Try to save something while your salary is small; it's impossible to save after you begin to earn more.