5 Quotes by Jane Gross

The lesson in my friend’s observation is that the line moves. What had once seemed unendurable to an aged parent, and still does to us, the adult children, changes. They come to tolerate the formerly intolerable and to surprise us with their forbearance. Diapers, it turned out, were not the end of the world. Nor was a wheelchair, despite initial resistance. Millimeter by millimeter the line was moving, as it would many times more.

Taking care of someone in old age isn’t a job for an amateur, especially if you want some time at the end of your parents’ life to enjoy them, learn more about them, and be a good son or daughter. To.

Now, as an adult child, ask yourself: Does either of your parents have a half-million dollars on hand to provide for himself or herself in old age?

All the very old people I know, and the vast majority of those who commented on my blog, see long life as a blessing only if they are reasonably functional and not at the mercy of others to get through the day. Once they reach that point of helplessness, with only the rarest exception, they want out.

My mother often mulled the pointless but compulsively compelling question of whether mental decline would be better than physical decline. Wouldn’t being round-the-bend demented be an easier way to go than being paralyzed, losing the ability to talk, becoming incontinent, and being totally aware of every second of it?