11 Quotes by Jane Nelsen

Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better?

Children do better when they feel better.

The challenge of parenting lies in finding the balance between nurturing, protecting, and guiding, on one hand, and allowing your child to explore, experiment, and become an independent, unique person, on the other.

Where did parents get the crazy idea that in order to make children behave, parents should make them feel shame, humiliation, or even pain? Children are more motivated to cooperate, learn new skills, and offer affection and respect when they feel encouraged, connected, and loved.

What we do is never as important as how we do it.

When we really understand the fact of separate realities, we will stop spending so much time and energy trying to change the reality of others.

Stress is the space between your thoughts of how life should be and how life really is. This.

Praise and encouragement are different. Praise is accorded to those who achieve or succeed. Encouragement is unconditional because it accepts and supports a person whatever the outcome of her efforts.

If you want to leave the park and your child isn’t ready to go, give her a hug and say, “You’re really upset right now. I know you want to stay, but it’s time to leave.” Then hold your child and let her experience her feelings before you move on to the next activity. If you were instead to pamper your child by letting her stay at the park longer, she doesn’t have the opportunity to learn from experience that she can survive disappointment.