85 Quotes by Jane Wagner

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer’s and has forgotten we exist.

Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I picked a time like this to go off drugs.

Mirrors can’t talk. Luckily for you, they can’t laugh either.

I am sick of being the victim of trends I reflect but don’t even understand.

It’s not that I lack ambition. I am ambitious in the sense that I want to be more than I am now. But if I were truly ambitious, I think I’d already be more than I am now.

My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it’s just not going to work.

Like what’s the point being a health nut by day if you’re a coke head at night.

It’s one thing to tolerate a boring marriage; a boring affair does not make sense.

When you’re dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you’re not the one who’s leading.