227 Quotes by Janeane Garofalo

So, apparently, if you are a pre-sentient mass of cells, this country will protect you and your rights to the n-th degree. If you have made the mistake of becoming an Iraqi citizen, apparently we can just drop bombs on you with impunity.

We're our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men.

You can tell a lot about a person by how excited they are to do the Macarena.

Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.

He [God] just seems so man-made to me. There are so many theories, and not everyone can be right. It's human nature to need a religious crutch, and I don't begrudge anyone that. I just don't need one.

What has Iraq done to us?

Historically the mainstream media has never been particularly friendly to any socially progressive ideas.

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.

I did not support Operation Desert Fox.