227 Quotes by Janeane Garofalo

Also, as I’ve gotten older and more mature, I’ve become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that’s reflected onstage.

For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I’ll write it down.

As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it’s our own opinion.

For some reason I get advertised when I travel as a political comedian, which I’m not. Sometimes I talk about it and sometimes I don’t.

People think that you are a nasty, selfish person if you don’t want to have children.

If you don’t do any self-examinations or see a doctor ever, you’ll live forever. That’s how you do it. The diagnosis is what gets you. You just have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy with any and all bodily functions.

I’m a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.

My hell is going to be the stairmaster wing of Dante’s inferno, where they’re gonna tape my feet to the pedals and the only music I get is Michael Bolton karaoke style.

Listen, young people, I understand narcissism – clearly. But at least I have the decency to hate myself. And that’s what’s missing from the young people. They don’t have the debilitating self-loathing and the second guessing.