790 Quotes by Janet Evanovich

It wouldn't kill you to flirt a little, so I don't remember this assignment as totally sucking. I'm babysitting a guy who thinks he's a leprechaun, and I'm rescuing a has-been horse. The least you could do I grab my ass once in a while.

If Mickey Mouse could fly, he'd be Donald Duck.

I've noticed you only speak ghetto half of the time." - Stephanie"I'm multi-lingual," Rancher said.I followed him to the door, feeling jealous, wishing I knew a second language.

We don't usually write up accidents involving rabbits.- Joe Morelli

As much as I disliked Eddie Kuntz, I could sort of identify with a man who got a stiffie over banana cream pie.

Suppose I was able to get to court, and the zombies followed me there, and they ate all the people’s brains who were in the court?’‘This is Trenton,’ Lula said. ‘You might not notice.

He's going to jail. He can't see. He can't hear. He can't take a leak that lasts under fifteen minutes. But he has an erection and all the other problems are small change. Next time around I'm coming back as a man. Priorities are clearly defined. Life is simple.

He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.

If I could just get Broom to cooperate, we could fly, Glo said. Then we wouldn't have to worry about traffic. Harry Potter didn't have to worry about traffic.You relize Harry Potter isn't real, right? Of course, but he could be. I mean, maybe not Harry Potter, but someone like him. Who's to say?