562 Quotes by Jarod Kintz
- Author Jarod Kintz
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Reading – it’s the third best thing to do in bed.
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- Author Jarod Kintz
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Loneliness is the unloneliest feeling in the world, as everyone has experienced it.
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I want to meet a guy named Art. I’d take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.
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- Author Jarod Kintz
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She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up.
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I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.
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I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn’t cheer so loud when I’m trying to sleep.
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I told her I’d wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who’d give me a ride home.
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- Author Jarod Kintz
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If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to seduce me, I’d have 50 cents. That’s assuming drag queens are half price.
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- Author Jarod Kintz
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The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phrase was carried in the opposite direction and landed 333 miles away in the ears of a confused farmer. He was nice, though. He sent me a kind letter saying that while he was flattered, I wasn’t really his type.
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