562 Quotes by Jarod Kintz

I don’t need love. I live in a forest. The quiet is my companion. The cold is my warmth. My heart once suffered from frostbite, but I removed and replaced it with a fuel pump.

Dance like there’s nobody watching. Or filming. Never mind that creepy guy in the corner with the camcorder. Just keep dancing.

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China!

I am the sunrise of sunsets, and I make love like noon at midnight.

I want to be the Everyman and take an IQ test and get a perfect 100.

I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights.

I want to be a creature that’s half bee, half the letter B. That way I can pollinate the world with my literacy.

If I could store any character quality in a cookie jar, I’d store patience. Chocolate-chip patience cookies. And I’d eat them all at one sitting.

My name is Davis Davis. And don’t call me Mr. Davis! How would you like it if I called you Mr. Archibald, or whatever your first name is?