562 Quotes by Jarod Kintz

I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing.

I want to go to all the topless bars in America and try to sell every single one of them a roof.

I close my eyes and feel the texture of brick on my fingers in my mind. I try to imagine the wall that surrounds your heart, so I can best devise a plan to breach it.

When I compliment you, I compliment myself, because I am who I associate with.

I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.

Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound.

Yesterday I memorized Shakespeare, and tomorrow I’m also going to memorize his first name.

Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about.

For your birthday I got you some batteries. They’re dead, just like you’ll soon be.