562 Quotes by Jarod Kintz

I am the earthquake of love. How you feel is my fault.

I want to write a book about shoes that’s full of footnotes.

I’ve been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won’t move his car.

I’ve often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it’s the one right after the next to the last one.

My gas tank is on empty, but my erection is on full. Still, it would be wise to stop the car before I pump.

Mr. Pot drank ten pots of coffee, even though I only made eight. That’s a savings of 20%!?

I want to make love like the most romantic thing ever, but I just don’t know how to go about learning how to fornicate like a flower.

Love is having nowhere to go, but someone to accompany you.

I want to remember our fallen heroes. And after I’ve spent a day remembering them, I want to extend my arm and help them up.