562 Quotes by Jarod Kintz

I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner.

Under the guise of being nice guys, the central bankers have done to the people what no army in history has been evil enough to do.

It’s true, I can’t make you love me. But I can refuse to let you out of your cage.

When I’m in a relationship, I love like a burrito. And if you’re a taco, don’t talk to me. At our core we may seem similar, but trust me, we are two different items on the menu.

Goodbyes, they often come in waves.

Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving a gift which you did not have to pay for.

My close friends are fond of telling me that I put the “yalt” in loyalty. Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far with it, but yeah, I guess I am a pretty yalty person.

People can only grow, stagnate, or regress. Which one are you doing? I’m both growing and stagnating, because I’m learning every day, so I’m growing, but since learning has become a habit and I do it all the time, I’m technically stagnating. I’m stagnating upwards.

Friends are like orgasms: you can never have too many, but just try to watch out for the fake ones.