562 Quotes by Jarod Kintz

A part-time worker is fully employed, half the time. In other words, they are part-time unemployees.

I called to tell her I loved her, which was smart, because if I'd have done it in person, I'd have caught her with another man. I don't care if he was my clone, it isn't right and it pisses me off. I was backstabbed by myself.

For me, it's not about winning an award. It's also about not even being nominated

A mirror is like my own personal reality TV show where I'm both the star and only viewer. I've got to get my ratings up.

I have a tongue like a rose petal, and when I say I love you, it has the fragrance of truth. My words are my garden, and I'm planting our future

Be memorable. Say something unforgettable. Be silent

Doing autograph sessions all day is not what I signed up for. But that's just all part of not being famous.

When congratulations are in order, I like to wait until they're out of order to offer a high five or enthusiastic pat on the back.

Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.