56 Quotes by Jay London

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

I dated a partially nude model, and she did a half-assed job.

I had a very lonely New Year's this year, I had to watch my own balls drop.

I work at Bed Bath and Beyond. I work in the Beyond section. When someone asks me where is the Bath section I say 'It's Beyond Me'.

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.