56 Quotes by Jay London

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.