438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire."

As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.

You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.