438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to walk out onto the porch and go Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna take a nap now.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.