438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

I really don’t require a whole lot in life.

I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it’s kind of an acknowledgment that you’ve been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.

It’s like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I’ve been yelled at by everyone in the family.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy’s current wife in high school.

I’ve got nothing against tattoos. I don’t have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife’s birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don’t let Ron White drive your car again.

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.

You can call us rednecks if you want. We’re not offended, ’cause we know what we’re all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad’s theory was, ‘Let him pull it over his head a few times, he’ll learn.’