438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would say, “Foxworthy, you ain’t nothing but a redneck from Georgia!” It kind of became a formula joke.

If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don’t have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren’t! Especially if they’ve got hair on them!

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don’t work there you might live in Wisconsin.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don’t want to give two or three more hours away.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they’ll spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you’ll be going, ‘you know, we’re alright. We are dang near royalty.’

Little girls love dolls. They just don’t love doll clothes. We’ve got four thousand dolls and ain’t one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

You might be a redneck if you’ve ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.