169 Quotes by Jeff Kinney

I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley,

Monkeys can't talk, stupid!

Zoo-Wee Mama!

I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.

Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!

See, that's the problem with putting too much stock in the old days. You remember all the GOOD stuff, but you forget about the time you got spanked by your best friend's mom.

It's our choices that make us who we are.

I think it's important for me to keep my childhood friends so that later on someone can appreciate how far I've come.

I'm basically one of the best people I know.