29 Quotes by Jeff Mach

We’ve actually made the world into this very ugly video game, and it’s not a sustainable model.

Punching your companions is unhelpful. Go into the forest and practice unarmed combat against a tree.

I have a theory: A long time ago, someone cursed the trees with a touch of ambition.

I don't make monsters.Definitions make monsters.You make definitions.

And lo, at the moment when she needed it most, she found the force within her. She didn't find it in time to avoid having her head bitten off, but she sure did die enlightened.

Dark Lords shatter destiny; it's what we do.

The Chosen One is often told that failure is not an option. The Dark Lord knows that failure, like hurt and harm, is one not simply an option, but one of many companions. True power seldom comes without risk. Sufficient risk eventually results in harm. If you think you can trap a thousand demons and never have a single one break through your defenses and wreak havoc on your mind for a while—then you’ve likely never summoned any demons at all.

Fairytales lie. Especially, especially when told by Faeries.

It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.