31 Quotes by Jennifer Rardin

I pictured Cupid sitting in a crappy little bar, drunk and depressed, while he moaned to the bartender, "That Jasmine Parks, gods, she pisses me off! Did you see what she just did? Totally blew off this immortal stud to play kiss-the-boo-boo with a fickle little rent-a-cop. Why? 'Cause she's the biggest chickenshit on the planet! I'm ready to toss my bow and pick up a bazooka!

Fear sucks. Because you never know when it will attack. Sometimes it sneaks up behind you, giggling like your best girlfriend from seventh grade. Then it whacks you on the back of the head, takes you straight to your knees before you realize what hit you. Other times you can see it coming, just a dot on the horizon, but you're like a canary in a cage. All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.

Cole - I just thought of a new game.Jaz - What's that?Cole - Splat the Specter.Jaz - Rules?Cole - You can help me make them up. Right now all I know for sure is that it involves water guns filled with grape Kool-Aid and two ferrets named Biff and Chlamydia.Vayl - Why Ferrets?Jaz - Really? You want to know about his choice of pets when he's named one of them after an STD?

For instance, dragons are deeply revered by the Chinese. According to legend they have megapowers that include weather control and life creation. And they’re seen as kind, benevolent creatures. Funny. Every fairy tale I’d ever heard involving dragons starred daring knights trotting off to kill said dragons. Probably the real reason every time East meets West they get pissed off and throw tea in our faces.

Do you even know what hammerd means?" I asked."Something to do with drinking your American beer out of a hole in the side of a can?"Dave reached over and slapped him on the shin. "Close enough.

I'm just being practial. I knew someday I might have to bare my throat to you. Pete and I discussed that very possibility. As for the danger and risk taking, that's what Pete pays me to do. And you and I both know he inteneds to get his money's worth."Jasmine, I cannot-"Why not!"Because you are not food!"I stared at him for a minute; the I started to grin. I couldn't help it.Vayl"-I tried to keep my face straight- "I'm not asking you to eat me.

The padlock clicked open. A voice soundingoddly like South Parks's Cartman echoed through my quivering brain. Goddammit!

I described the pyramid we'd found and waited for him to jump on the bandwagon. Unfortunately he's afraid of wagons. And bands.

Unbelievable. After what justhappened between us no, I don’t have any right. None at all. We’re barely acouple. We’re not even sleeping together. I have to-"What in God’s name are you babbling about?" "You’re cheating on me!" "I never cheat.