98 Quotes by Jenny Eclair

People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you’re on stage. Blokes don’t have that worry.

I’ve just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn’t get his good, thick hair. I got my mother’s thin, wispy, non-event hair instead.

I think as time goes by you’ll get female comics who are weirder – you’ll get a female Mighty Boosh.

I can’t watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That’s my job.

After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad’s Army shirts, accessorised by a cat’s basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga.

If I do go to the beach there have to be certain rules: it can’t be a pebbly beach, there has to be some shade and there has to be a beach bar. I don’t want to go off the beaten track.

There should be more booing in shops and restaurants and places like that when when the service is bad. If you’ve had a poor breakfast in a hotel, you should put your knife and fork down and boo.

I can’t tan naturally.

I might be needy, competitive and desperate but it’s far better than being wet.