224 Quotes by Jenny Slate

It's an earned privilege to go to bed knowing that you were kind, and one needs to re-earn it every day, and it's harder than expected but worth it.

I am connected to eternity and I am part of everything and although I am with all of it, I am still different from anything and everything.I am an example of a specific way of spending time and feeling existence in this world.

Your heart is factually a part of the universe, which is a miracle of endless force and boundless beauty.There is literally no way that you are not part of that.Despair can force you to turn your eyes away from this fact, but it is the real truth and it will be waiting to be with you when you are free enough to turn back to it.

I love myself. I think that I am a very top-quality person.

I stuff each breast into a cotton cup-bag, and the bags are sewn together as a pair of bags for boobs, and the pair of boob-bags is held on by straps because I guess this helps the boobs from not floating past the mountains and white puffs and into outer space?

Inside the cotton-cups my nipples press like bright coins against the boundaries of the bags because they want to be out and on a beach and not in bags, and they would gladly pay to be set free, but I can’t give any money toward freedom because my money is for the Restaurant tonight.

The dog’s butthole fell out while he was pooping and they got an operation to put it back in.

Hello, I am a woman here on this ancient ball that rotates with a collection of other balls around a bigger ball made up of lights and gasses that are science gasses, not farts. Don’t be immature.

Information about art and nature feels like the best stuff to have, and if you have it, it is powerful and excellent to pass it on. That is an act of power, showing what you know, giving it to another person, realizing that as you spread it, you get to keep it but watch it grow, and by watching others have it, you learn new things about the original thing.