504 Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.

If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience.

I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.

And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.

When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it.

I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.

I love the day date. No wine, no shower.

The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.